Project Monkey-Off-My-Back

More migraine trouble. :/

Just had one that lasted eight days. In fact, as today is only day nine, I can't really be sure the migraine is gone until I've gone the whole day without it coming back. It's 1pm now. Halfway through. So far, so good. Wish me luck.

I went and saw Dr. John Beall at Rise Bodyworks for a little Active Release Therapy yesterday, and he gave me an absolutely HORRIFIC occipital adjustment. 

(Him: Yeah, that was your SKULL making that noise. 
Me: Have you ever had anyone's head pop off and fly across the room when you do that? 
Him: Only once. Well, twice. 
Me: Oh my god I hate you.)

Anyway, I survived it, and it took a few hours for my eyes refocus and my ears to stop ringing, but seemed to be the deciding factor in the end of the 8-day migraine. Because Dr. John is awesome.

Insane and sadistic, but awesome.

It's so automatic for me to just tolerate the migraines that I don't usually notice there's been a major change in frequency or character until it's been going on for a while. Well, I've noticed. They've increased in frequency over the past few months-- I definitely have migraine pain more often than not these days-- and they've changed in character, too. The nausea component has increased dramatically. Sometimes I don't even have the headache part, just the nausea, for days at a time.

I have to admit, it's really starting to get to me. It's overwhelming. There are so many possible triggers, so many factors involved, that fighting these things sometimes seems impossible.

Even at my best, when I think the migraines aren't controlling my life, I'm deluding myself. They prevent me from all sorts of things, all the time. It's the migraines, not the PTSR, that make me feel most fragile. It's the migraines that keep me from doing too much, going too far, being too relaxed, being too brave.

I'm totally letting them win.

I've let them demoralize me to the point of paralysis. I'm just tired of dealing with them, and I've given up. Which gets me exactly nowhere.

It's hard to maintain a sense of aggression toward them, but I'm going to try. Again. I've tried everything under the sun to battle these things, but as my husband pointed out last night, I "haven't tried them all at the same time."

Well. That's true. Juggling many things at once not being my strong suit, and all.

But enough of that. I can't let that be true anymore.

So. Gotta try them all. At the same time. I'll make a list, and cross through the things I'm already doing. Here we go:

1. Talk therapy
2. Antidepressants
3. Abortive meds that work
4. Active Release Therapy
5. Avoid known triggers
6. Ride bike at least 4x/week
7. Track food intake for possible trigger connection
8. Establish regular stretching routine: 1x/day
9. Establish regular body-rolling routine: 1x/day
10. Resume Pilates classes: 1 group Reformer class + 1 mat class per week 
11. Resume migraine-fighting supplements: magnesium, vitamin B. 
12. Find a new doctor with experience treating migraines; discuss the following:
1. Prophylactic migraine medication options
2. Alternative migraine treatments 
3. Other supplements: alpha lipoic acid, CoQ10, feverfew, butterbur, estrogen

That's a good list for now. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.

I tend to think of migraine-wrangling as a full-time job, and while it sort of is, in many ways, it's also not that difficult to incorporate the list above into my day. I get overwhelmed by the idea of multiple commitments, but the plain truth is that I DO HAVE TIME FOR ALL OF THIS. More now than at any other time in my adult life.

I have time for this. I have time for this. I HAVE TIME FOR ALL OF THIS.

It's pretty sad that I can argue with myself about whether or not I have the time in my oh-so-busy schedule to do the small, simple things I need to do to find relief from the pain that restricts my life so much, but that's what I'm doing right now. I'm protesting. As if that were at all reasonable.

Well.

I'll still protest, but that goddamn Wise Adult needs to step up right now and take the wheel. Don't listen to yourself, Self. Get this shit done.

I'm writing this here in the blog to try to keep myself accountable. You heard it here first, folks. You are hereby granted permission to request progress reports.

Project Monkey-Off-My-Back has now commenced.