Trauma Theory

When last we spoke, my arms had gone numb. I will get back to that, and I'll tell you all about it, but in order for it to make sense I have to talk about something else first. This part gets a little academic but it's really important, so stay with me. There are pictures!

Okay. Remember that non-believer thing I told you about? Yeah, well. Keep it close. Because I am about to tell you about the books that changed my life:

Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma by Peter Levine, Ph. D., and

Crash Course: A Self-Healing Guide To Auto Accident Trauma & Recovery by Diane Poole Heller, Ph.D. 

Peter Levine is the developer of the Somatic Experiencing method of psychology, which you can read about here, and has created a new mechanism for understanding and treating trauma. His theories have only emerged in the past 15 years or so, so it is relatively new scholarship. Diane Poole Heller is one of his associates, and uses his trauma theory in her book. Levine prefers to call PTSD  "Post-Traumatic Stress Response," rather than Disorder, because he has found through his research that it is a perfectly natural response to an overwhelming event.

But more importantly, he has found that it can be resolved. Often completely.

Levine's work addresses our survival instincts-- the "fight, flight, or freeze" response-- and is based on the observation of animals and their similar, instinctive response to threat. Animals' brains work the same way ours do, and when danger strikes, they either fight back, run away, or, if neither of those seem possible, freeze and brace themselves for the attack. 

Imagine, for example, a deer crossing a road in the path of an oncoming car. The deer looks up, sees the lights approaching, and stands stock-still (the "freeze" response). Yep, the classic "deer in the headlights" moment is a real, instinctive response. 

But here's where Levine found something interesting: once the car has passed, the deer will limp over to the side of the road and collapse, as if dead. After a while, it will begin to shake uncontrollably, and will do that for some time. Then, shaking done, it will slowly raise its head, reorient itself, and then rise to its feet and run off into the woods, good as new.

It turns out that the deer has some innate mechanisms for regulating and discharging the high levels of arousal energy that are generated by defensive survival behaviors. Humans have them, too-- we are born with the same regulatory mechanisms as your average Bambi-- and... well, I'll quote Heller here: 

"[T]he function of these instinctive systems is often over-ridden or inhibited by, among other things, the "rational" portion of the brain. This restraint prevents the complete discharge of survival energies, and does not allow the nervous system to regain its equilibrium. The energy that is not discharged remains in the body, and the nervous system gets stuck in "survival mode." The various symptoms of trauma result from the body's attempt to manage and contain this unused energy." 

When we're faced with life-threatening trauma, our reptilian brains take over and we go into survival mode, scanning for threat, assessing our options, and reacting. This stuff happens at a primitive level-- our "rational" minds are not involved here. When we experience a threat so overwhelming that things seem to go in slow motion-- a capital-T Trauma-- that is happening because our reptilian brain has kicked in and we are suddenly hyper-aware, able to focus on the tiny details of our surroundings so that we can find the way out of danger if it's there.

And then we do what our reptilian brain judges is best. If something is biting us, maybe we bite back. If something is chasing us, maybe we run away.

If headlights come around a blind corner on our side of the road and there's no time to do either of the above, maybe we freeze and brace ourselves for the impact.

So. Here's what normal, healthy nervous system function looks like:

Image recreated from Crash Course: A Self-Healing Guide To Auto Accident Trauma & Recovery by Diane Poole Heller, Ph. D.

Heller again: 

"Under normal conditions there is a gentle rhythm between the two consisting of charge and discharge, When that rhythm is in place, we experience a sense of well-being and life feels manageable."

People who have experienced car accidents often get stuck in the "freeze" response, as I illustrated in my example above. This, using Heller's analogy, is "like pressing the accelerator to the floor, while simultaneously jamming on the brakes, so that the engine is fully engaged but the car can't budge."

This, in turn, can cause your nervous system to careen out of control, like this: 

Image recreated from Crash Course: A Self-Healing Guide To Auto Accident Trauma & Recovery by Diane Poole Heller, Ph. D.

You might look at the diagram above and think it looks extreme. Me, I looked at it and saw the last 20 years of my life explained with a few squiggly lines. I saw the same list of complaints I've been taking to my doctors for the last 15 years, asking "What's wrong with me?" and being told I was just unhappy, just high-strung, just over-tired, just imagining things.

I've been stuck mostly on "OFF" all this time, thinking I was lazy, worthless, made of weaker stuff than other people, when I've actually been fighting the tide of parasympathetic overload. The metaphor, though, is so apt it feels almost literal:

I never had time to hit the brakes that night, but I've been stomping on that brake pedal with both feet ever since.